When Do You Give Up On Someone?

At what point do you give up on a person? Whether it be a person you’re discipling or someone you’ve witness to for years, how do you know it’s time to shake the dust from your feet and move on because they obviously don’t want the Christian life you’re offering them? Let’s take a look at what Jesus told His disciples to do when witnessing to people in Matthew 10(KJV) :

5These twelve Jesus sent forth, and commanded them, saying, Go not into the way of the Gentiles, and into any city of the Samaritans enter ye not: 6But go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel. 7And as ye go, preach, saying, The kingdom of heaven is at hand. 8Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out devils: freely ye have received, freely give. 9Provide neither gold, nor silver, nor brass in your purses, 10Nor scrip for your journey, neither two coats, neither shoes, nor yet staves: for the workman is worthy of his meat. 11And into whatsoever city or town ye shall enter, inquire who in it is worthy; and there abide till ye go thence. 12And when ye come into an house, salute it. 13And if the house be worthy, let your peace come upon it: but if it be not worthy, let your peace return to you. 

14And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words, when ye depart out of that house or city, shake off the dust of your feet. 15Verily I say unto you, It shall be more tolerable for the land of Sodom and Gomorrha in the day of judgment, than for that city.

16Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves. 17But beware of men: for they will deliver you up to the councils, and they will scourge you in their synagogues; 18And ye shall be brought before governors and kings for my sake, for a testimony against them and the Gentiles. 

19But when they deliver you up, take no thought how or what ye shall speak: for it shall be given you in that same hour what ye shall speak. 20For it is not ye that speak, but the Spirit of your Father which speaketh in you.

Obviously, this passage is giving direct instruction to the disciples, however, I also believe this text provides instructions for us on how to witness to others as well. I think it’s telling us we need to be bold, we need to target people that are easiest for us to reach, we need to not worry about how to do it perfectly, we need to give God’s message, and then move on. Shake the dust from off your feet. We should want no part in someone who was given God’s instructions but refuses to listen.

Verse 20 says it’s not our words but the words the Holy Spirit put in us that we say. I believe this also applies to us. I’ve had these moments when I allowed God to use my voice for His cause and the words were not my own. What a wonderful experience it is to say exactly the right thing! (I have a lot of trouble doing that on my own.)

When to Shake the Dust From Your Feet

I think that just as the Holy Spirit can give us the words to say, He can also let us know when to throw in the towel. I don’t give up on people easily. I wouldn’t want to be left behind, would you? So it’s difficult for me to do that to someone else. But sometimes it’s needed. And thank God it’s not our decision. I’ve had God tell me to keep going when I didn’t want to, and I’ve had Him tell me to stop when I wasn’t ready. Looking back I’m so glad I don’t have to second guess my decision because He made it for me.

When It Still Hurts

It hurts to put all your energy into someone, hoping that they will allow Jesus to change their life and you can reap the reward of seeing that transformation. But what happens when you try and try and there’s no fruit?

You get hurt.

You feel drained.

You don’t want to try again, with anyone.

But there are so many others out there and some will listen. God wants us to go find them and bring them to Him. I think that’s why the Bible says to shake the dust from off your feet. Because if you hold on too long you’ll miss out on those people.

But what about the person you prayed so hard for? How do you just give up on them? Remember that you’ve sewn a seed in them and it’s up to someone else to water it. And maybe on down the line somewhere someone else might nurture that seedling and help them pull some weeds. There is still a chance for fruit and you did your part by planting that seed in the first place. Nothing was wasted.

Ask God to guide your actions and let you know when it’s time to move on to the next person. Accept that you may never see the tiny seed break open but by planting it you gave it a chance to grow some day. Then don’t be afraid to shake the dust from your feet because there are more seeds to plant and our time here is limited.